Because of YOU.

For the last 6 years mother’s Day has been bitter sweet for me, why? My mother passed away in August 2014, she left at the time when I needed her the most yet she was also there for me at my lowest, most confusing moments. I’ll explain.

When I told my mother that I had gotten pregnant during my last semester of University, we were actually packing my apartment up for my return home because I had finally finished university; she was so excited but in the middle of her drink she told me, ‘ I am not going to help you tell your dad.’ At this point I was like, ‘but why?’ she said that me and my dad had our own special bond, she wouldn’t want to be the one to break this news to him, it should come from me. I never told my dad till I was 5 months pregnant, growing fat and he would tell my mum ‘ tell Kekimuri not worry, she will get a job.’ bwahahahahaha, my mum just let him believe that my weight gain was me eating my sadness away🤦😄😄 I did finally tell him with my mum sitted beside me. She was smiling from ear to ear as my dad almost chocked on his breakfast. I never understood why she was excited over my pregnancy. Throughout my pregnancy, ‘Kekimuri take the vitamins, have u eaten fruits? What did the doctor say? Where is the scan? It’s a gal!! Yesss, let’s think of a name.’ She filled a huge gap, my dad stopped talking to me from that breakfast meeting till Keilah was born, we communicated via Bible verses.

He would leave verses on disobedience and I would leave Bible verse on forgiveness. This Bible verse exchange helped me to find Keilah’ name. Keilah is a Fort that David defended against the Philistines while on the run from Saul.

First forward to November 3rd 2009, Mulago hospital theatre 7am,heavy downpour outside my mother singing Rukiga hymns outside. When Keilah finally cried, I heard my mum in her soft voice raise her tukutendereza up to the heavens. She insisted to carry Keilah wherever they were taking her. My mother stayed with her till I was wheeled into the ward.(This i learned later in 2018 was because she was an angel mum, this was a trigger). I found my siblings there all smiles, excited but I was looking for one person…mummy. Where was she? I asked Dora. Dora said that she went home to get stuff. Now I was the first woman in my family to under go cesarean delivery, I had no one to pass on information on care after this major surgery I wobbled through this hospital time. I was on some nice drugs so I kept going in and out of consciousness. I glimpsed at Keilah once or twice but the girl cried. Mukama she cried. Dora had bought formula for her since I was knocked out on drugs and could not breast feed at that time, she mixed a couple of bottles so that our caregiver Joyce would easily give her without the hassle of measuring and mixing(brilliant) I finally stabilized the next day at 5am. I wanted to hold my baby, I wanted her in my arms. I called Joyce(our caregiver) who carried Keilah in her arms for over 7 hours to soothe her and make sure she didn’t feel alone.

She was so pretty, yellowest, beautiful nails, head of black hair. She was a sleeper, feed her, burp her and she will sleep. My mum showed up at 7am with flasks, flasks upon flasks. I had never seen these flasks in our home😄😄 Now the nurse on duty had told us that I couldn’t eat just yet but black tea with sugar would do, my mum looked at her and said ok. Do you know what my mum did? 🤣🤣 She pulled out a flask poured soup with some byenda pieces and told me take this, ebya black tea won’t help you Kekimuri, just as iron sharpens iron so byenda(offals) clean out byenda(offals). I was in awe in how fast it worked. I was escorted to the loo, for my first shit in 24hours. From then on I was allowed to eat. My mum would walk into my room with a flask, fruits something she never showed up empty handed. Gosh I drank bushera. Breastfeeding was another hurdle. Didn’t come easily. Keilah had problems lurching on, so my breasts were Double Ds(first and last time🤣🤣) they hurt so much.

The Double Ds!

My mum came with a flask of hotwater and a brand new white face towel, she taught me how to express the milk manually as we waited for a breast pump. Guys, my mum was goals galore legit! That stuff worked but as we all know if you express, more milk is produced to feed the baby but Keilah wasn’t lurching on. She was getting used to the bottle, one of my visitors Dr. Christine Mugasha who was a pediatrician then told me that I stop the bottle feeding, avail breast only she will lurch. It worked! Ofcourse the crying didn’t help, she would scream when she couldn’t pull the milk out, I would be pushing as if that helped…maybe it did coz after about 4 tries she lurched on and never looked back till she was 1 year and 7months. My mother shoved bushera down my throat, she even bought me a special mug that would hold 1 litre of Bushera in it. 4 days later we were discharged out of the hospital, I wasn’t ready to be honest I was scared what was I going to do with this little human, she was too fragile. I hadn’t given her a full bath yet, I kept dry cleaning her but even then it was like cleaning glass. I remember mummy asking me if I bathed like that whether I would feel clean🙄 We got home, real life begun! My dad woke up the next day, it was Sunday , he blasted choral music to welcome his grand daughter home but Keilah wasn’t amused she cried and cried and cried. I asked my mom to ask Prof to reduce koo the volume, she turned to me and said, ‘ Kekimuri the baby must get used to the sounds of the house or else you will run mad asking people to keep quiet. She will adjust.’ that was no lie, Keilah adjusted perfectly upon to now she can sleep through grandpa’s music even snore! Keilah had her first bath 2 weeks later by Aunty Dora who came in from work to show me because I just couldn’t hold her she was so delicate. I did eventually bath her with the help of my brother Denton but it was scary I dreaded bathing time till she learnt to sit then it was fun times, ducks, singing and bubbles.😄😄🙌

My mother passed on two books for me to read during this season, ‘Where there’s no doctor by David Werner(every Ugandan home had a copy of this) and her NKJV Bible. She later on added health food cookery by Marguerite Patten, when Keilah started eating solid food, she would mix all sorts of blends for Keilah. Her palate was introduced to exquisite flavours at a very young age. Keilah was totally spoilt for choose by my mother, i remember Keilah used to wait up for her to eat whatever suprise Kaaka had in her shopping bag, there’s a time she came with a Rolex, I told mummy there’s no way Keilah will eat it. Guess what, Keilah chewed her half and cried for Kaaka’ half🤣🤣

My mother taught me how to do what she did for us, she put our needs above her own, she taught us to empathize, be kind towards others, always speak your truth and for Christ’s sake if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t speak. I am who I am because my mum devoted her life to making me more than I could ever imagine. She nurtured us beyond reason, she encouraged us, she uplifted us, she made sure that each of her children knew about the love of God. It’s no wonder that 6 years later we are all still grieving her. An angel walked among us and we called her MUMMY.