The first time I went into theatre to have my 1st born Keilah Keishemeza I was 25years old, scared out of my mind over this surgery. It didn’t help that I was the first women in my family to have a C-section, my mom kept praying for me, she was worried and that passed on to me. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was scheduled for surgery early 7am (my pelvic was too small for me to push her out, though she was ready to come out) so I was admitted into Mulago hospital the evening before. As I waited through the night my water broke at 6am, so the doctor had to be called immediately. I called my mum, updated her on what was going on, it seemed like she showed up immediately. I wheeled into the theatre, she started praying for me. I could hear her outside the theatre; she even sung some Rukiga hymns. As I went through the surgery, I was hopeful to come out with a baby, my first born and as God would have it, Keilah was born all 3.2Kgs. I stumbled through motherhood. Every one raised Keilah. I remember I bounced back after 4 weeks I was up and about, my scar healed so well I was wearing jeans at the 6 week review.
However with my third born Keitangaza, it’s been a totally different experience. She came earlier than her expected date. As I went through surgery this time I was more aware of what was happening. I remember telling the anesthesiologist that I could still feel some pain to which she replied, “You are not dead, you have just been numbed.” Well that numbness wears off, and you feel all that pain at once. It’s even worse if one has no baby (yes, I lost Keitangaza after 4hours), to kinda numb the pain down. I still get tags around my scar, 1 year and 4 months later with my very visible scar. That scar became a symbol of battle which I came out of alive, so I wear it proud.
I have since learned that C-section surgery was originally performed to cut a baby out of a dead mother because Romans were all about building armies, so if a mother died as she was conceiving they would cut her open and get the baby out. Of course with time it was panel beaten here and there, Queen Victoria used chloroform to give birth to her children through C-section and that led to epidural and general anesthesia. It continues to be adjusted into something that brings life and not takes life. Maternal health care has become the buzz for many organizations even our very own MTN marathon is centered around maternal health care.
But,
Who is catering for the perinatal loss & bereavement care? Who is running marathons for those many women who day in and day out are having miscarriages? Are told “sorry, we can’t find a heartbeat?” “Sorry, your pregnancy results are negative!” Who is holding these parents’ hands? Who is being their walk with me companion to answer their questions at 2am? “Who is reaching out to the fathers and affirming them that it’s okay to not be okay?” It’s okay to cry for your baby….
WHO IS GIVING LIFE INSTEAD OF TAKING IT?
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds their wounds [healing their pains and comforting their sorrow] –Psalms 147:3
-Excerpt from work in progress; Born out of Season.
Denise. N Kekimuri
P.S. Vessel is Me is a support group that has taken the mantle to give life to bereaved parents, families and friends who have experienced loss of baby. We meet every second Tuesday of the month 7am-9am. Call/ WhatsApp Kecho 0783-536607/ 0758-236196 for more details.
preciousvalues
Thank you Kecho