As a family, this year we have badly needed a party to just feel alive, see one another and catch up; this is what my dad’s birthdays have meant to us since I could remember. They signify the beginning of the Christmas season, spreading love, good cheer and joy to all mankind through this one day. My family has been known to throw some of the craziest parties (if don’t believe me, please get my brother’s book called “Mercy, said NO) I still meet people on the streets, in government offices, around Kampala asking if we still throw those big parties at the end of the year. This one day kicks off all the parties to follow and we love it, as children we looked forward. I, more so because I would hold up my own September celebrations to cut cake with my dad. It was always a mega celebration. As adults though, our children have kind of taken this on. They eagerly wait to gather at “grandpa Nakasero’s” to do what we used to do; feel alive, see one another and catch up. This year 2020, the world stood still, so did our celebrations. On an Instagram family chat group, one of my nephews asked if we shall be gathering for the birthday. Everyone started sharing how they missed Nakasero, grandpa and being in that house with each other…things we had taken for granted. I didn’t want to be the one to tell them that this year every celebration has been postponed to a future date after the vaccine had been discovered. (can’t wait for this day)
My dad, Prof. Sam Tulya-Muhika is an introvert extrovert I have discerned. He likes to be around people but he also enjoys being by himself. Growing up, we all revered him. He needed to only speak once and we would do. He was the tougher of both parents so most of us sought solace with our mom. Many people think I am his favorite child but I don’t think so, I disrupt his introvert side, I challenge him a lot to speak and share which if we all know Professors is one of their favorite pastimes. I did most of my International Relations term papers based on conversations my father and I had heard in a famous eatery along Thika Road, Nairobi, my entire project was written on the re-rise of the East African Community(EAC) because there is very little literature on it, I quoted my dad and his book( Hahahahaha, should have seen how puzzled my supervisor was but she gave me an A) We are still trying to convince him to write his own book, the man is an encyclopedia when it comes to EAC, Pan Africanism, AU, diplomacy of course statistics and economics he is the G.O.A.T( Greatest of All Times)
Some of the lessons I have learnt from my dad, he never spoke them I just watched him do and other people can attest to them;
Do everything with a degree of excellence: Growing up in Makerere we were the Professors and lecturers’ children so we watched our parents wake up early drop us off to school and go teach, pick us from school and go home to rest and eat lunch/supper and go back to teach. This was the routine for most families. Not ours. My father stayed at the institute the whole day, we only saw him in the evening. The only time my father was around during lunch time was when he was marking papers. He would play classical music, sit out in the compound and begin to mark. I liked this time because he would assign me to organize the papers in order of highest marks to lowest. Now this was very difficult for me especially the Statistics students would score Negative 10, like I learnt integers long ago. I remember one time I asked him how someone could get a negative? Does that mean they owed him marks? He laughed and said that when I was old enough I would understand. I never needed the explanation, when I got to university I experienced it fully!!
Go hard or don’t bother at all: He believes in repetition in order to grasp a concept or idea. I have seen him do this countless time especially with golf. He would be on the range for hours…hours…just perfecting his swing. Every morning like clockwork, you will hear a pounding sound coming from his bedroom (wooden floors) he is practicing his swing. I remember the first time he hit a hole in one, funny thing about achieving things people don’t reward you, you reward them. He bought the entire club house a round of drinks something that still beats my understanding. He recently hit a hole in one, for us this was an early birthday gift from him to himself, given the year he has had. I said this because my father draws energy from travel. Most of his children are the same. We recharge, revitalize when we are on the road or in a plane or in another city. This year we have all been grounded and had to find other sources of energy boosters, I watched my dad slowly wither and all it took for him get his bounce back was the opening of the golf course, of course first times he played weren’t so good. He would tell me “I am a bit rusty” I understood that but when he hit that hole in one, I was particularly excited for him, the rust was wearing off.
Christ at the Centre of it all: Our dad hasn’t always been a spiritual person. He was more religious which entails practices and rituals, he grew up in a preacher man’s house and he knows the Bible from contents to the Maps, he quotes books like Malachi, Micah, 1Chronicles, Revelations etc off the top of his head. His mother was a praying mother, morning, noon and night, I believe that he is living off her prayers up to today. I have met people who tell me how my dad sends them “command your morning” devotionals every day, sometimes they arrive in the afternoon but he never fails to send them. I need you all to understand that my dad hasn’t yet learnt the broadcast feature on WhatsApp so he selects each and every one of you every day and sends those devotionals. He has since started a family Bible study every Sunday to teach us more about the word, my daughter [Keilah] enjoys these a lot; he appointed her rector (Chief Scripture Reader) a role she takes very seriously unless she hasn’t yet had breakfast(lol) I am watching my father transform into a softer, kinder, jollier, peaceful person and I can only attribute it to the love of God taking center field in his life. This year in July I made an appointment to meet my dad (yes, we make appointments) this particular issue was going to change the trajectory of my life and I had already started the process I needed to inform him. As I walked to his office, I played out scenario A or B, could go either way and I had armed myself with answers to every scenario possible…probability game here. I kept time, he is a stickler for time keeping; 1pm is 1pm nor 1:05pm (rather be early than later, and if you are early carry something to read don’t be idle in people’s waiting rooms) he caught me up on the latest land wrangles and then he said, “now my daughter what is it you wanted to talk to me about?” I froze. Not because I didn’t know what to say he had distracted me. I was overly ready now I had gotten entangled in the other issues I didn’t know how to join my issues in that; but fear not Kekimuri always finds what to say. (also helped that I had written down my points) so I began to spill, I poured I could see he wasn’t ready but I didn’t know how else to sugar coat this issue. I finished my speech, he was looking at me eyes wide open and hands clasped together. He said, “young lady, how much emotional turmoil can you handle?” I knew exactly what he was saying, I didn’t need any interpretation. He continued, “since you have already started the journey, all I can do is pray for you and share a scripture with you.” He pulled out his Bible opened Psalms 118:5-6 and prayed over me. Sent me off with words of encouragement and lifted my Spirit there and then. All the fear and worry I had gone away, replaced with a warm fuzzy feeling which I hadn’t felt in a long time. The assurance that not only God is with you but I am also with you, Kekimuri. That I didn’t see coming, that was scenario C. That for me was the best gift I have received in 2020.
In conclusion, I would like to wish my dad the one who brought me into this world and has molded me directly or indirectly into this law-abiding citizen; a happiest Birthday! May God continue to light your path, shower you with more wisdom and strength.
I love you Daddy.
